Hello darling,
Today is my birthday! On this Wednesday, August 15th, I am turning twenty-three, which means that I have officially lived through twenty-three years on this glorious planet and am launching into my twenty-fourth go-around. It also means that “22” by Taylor Swift no longer applies to me, which is sad; I felt the same way when I turned sixteen and “Fifteen” was pushed into the archives of nostalgia.
Somehow, days roll into months, roll into years.
As significant demarcations in time tend to do, this birthday has made me reflect on my experiences thus far and consider how I want to live going forth. There are so many people I’ve met and experiences I have had that have shaped me into the under-construction person that I am (and am becoming). Here are some of my birthday ponderings.
1. We are all creative beings. Ink and paint run through our veins, as do language and music. We are not meant to live lives devoid of creation.
2. Adulthood is a myth. We never “get there” or reach a certain point. There is no real finish line. Life is ever expanding and evolving, as are we. Remake yourself and then remake yourself again. Find yourself and then find yourself again.
3. When it comes to friendship, quality over quantity. Sure, it’s fun to have a posse of pals to call up at any time of day or night to go dancing or to go see a movie, but when it comes down to it, it is soul-sustaining to have one or two people who you can call up at any time of the day or night to listen to you cry, those who will hold you in heart and body whenever you need to be held.
4. Society will expect certain things out of you. Even though it seems as though these things are mandatory, they’re not. You have control over what you do with your one, precious life.
5. The things that other people derive joy from do not have to be the things that I derive joy from. I’m glad that someone else enjoys watching football or going to a club. I enjoy cuddling up on the couch with cocoa and a book. There is nothing wrong with me.
6. My sensitivity is a strength and I refuse to keep treating it as a weakness.
7. Truly listen to others; people just want to be heard.
8. As much as it should be a birthright, education is a privilege. Treat it as such.
9. Planning is incredibly important, but plans will change. Don’t get so caught up in controlling the situation that you fail to experience what is really happening.
10. Stop expecting other people to be or do anything. Other people should not have the burden of being the source of your happiness. Only you control your joy. This is the art of buying yourself flowers (http://thegirlbecoming.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-art-of-buying-yourself-flowers-stop.html). Love without expectations.
11. Certain situations are terrible beyond words. It is okay to be devastated. It is okay to be full of rage. We are human beings and in our humanity exists a swirling amalgamation of emotions, natural and beautiful in their purity, their rawness.
12. Sometimes we can take action to solve problems we face and sometimes we cannot. Embrace The Serenity Prayer.
13. Savor the smell of crisp air, the clouds at dusk, the steam rising from your latte. Each moment is an opportunity to practice presence.
14. Reading is not only enjoyable, but helps us to understand the perspectives and experiences of others. This cultivates empathy.
15. What you do each day is more important than what you do upon occasion. Be intentional with your habits and routines.
16. Share the little moments of your day with those you love. Life is made up of the little moments.
17. Arguments are not about winning. Arguments are about finding points of common understanding and shared beliefs and creating solutions from that communal place. Is it better to be right or to be happy?
18. Life is cyclic. It will come in waves of productivity and lethargy, waves of community and solitude, waves of contentedness and dissatisfaction. This contrast is both what keeps us pushing upwards and what provides a deep appreciation for our periods of ease and joy.
19. Other people are on their own journeys, their own wending roads. Comparison serves only to foster bitterness. Dappled sunlight across the grass is beautiful, as are rays of moonlight sparking off of winter ice. They do not have to be the same to be beautiful.
20. Stop judging yourself. You are doing the best you can, my dear. If you fall, now you know better. Get back up and try again, but this time with the wisdom that the falling brought about. You are no longer the same which means that you can choose differently this time.
21. Find your balance, your opposition of contrasting forces. This does not mean doing everything in equal measures all the time. In fact, it means quite the opposite. Allow yourself to get absorbed in your work, in your passions, and then allow time for rest and stock-taking.
22. Take care of yourself. Self-care is not trivial and you cannot give to the world when your soul and body are depleted. Play is paramount. Recuperation is required. Sleep is not optional, as much as you may wish that it was. This battle with sleep has been my sticking point. I resolve to make friends with sleep this year.
23. Choose love. In every circumstance, we each have the opportunity to act from a place of love or a place of fear. Choose love, darling. As often as you can, choose love. Choose compassion. Choose kindness.
I am nowhere near knowing everything there is to learn. I am nowhere near perfect. But I am trying. I am learning. I am growing. I inevitably back-slide from time to time. And then I move forward again. I am a work of progress. All I really want is to make my life my art, see all the pieces of the world as art, and feel love as much as possible along the way. Love for a first snowfall, a first embrace, the first moment of the day. Love for the sound of wind making the leaves dance and for bowls mended with gold filigree. Love for the feeling of a puppy curled against my leg or a kiss on the forehead. Life can be many things, but there is always beauty in it. Let’s grow this year, darling. Let’s water ourselves and tend to ourselves and most of all, love, love, love.
Love,
Lola
No comments
Post a Comment