Travel to Thailand Part 1: Lessons on Sunburns, Speedboats, and Compatibility

     Existing in a liminal place between graduating college and moving to a new state to start my fancy new adult life (how naïve I was), I lost hours,

          days, 

               weeks. 

     Graduation happened, then Christmas, but… What did I do with the first three weeks of January? I honestly can’t recall.



     The weeks of dazed fugue led up to the bright, shiny promise of adventure, a pinprick of light in the distance, the trip of a lifetime, my reward for all my hard academic trudging, and my last hurrah with my best friend before we were to hit two roads that diverged in a proverbial wood. Prior to it actually happening, my trip to Thailand was many things, all measurably vague, amorphous and bathed in golden rays of happy sunshine. What I didn’t expect were debilitating sunburns, miserable overnight bus rides, ballooning appendages, nausea, and daily squabbles with one of my all-time favorite people; I didn’t expect that I would mentally let these negatives overshadow the hella exciting, fun, and lovely times that we shared. It is only six months in retrospect, far removed from heat exhaustion and still (still!) sporting an awkward tan line, that I have come to really and truly appreciate my time there.

     Without further ado (yes, I do feel that there is something pleasantly nostalgic about clichés), let’s dive into five of the lessons I learned in Thailand.

1. 

The Most Beautiful Experiences Aren’t the Ones You Expect Them to Be

Let me tell you a story about the most beautiful rooftop bar with the most astounding view of Bangkok and a girl who wanted nothing more than to go home. Moon Vertigo is the go-to bar in Bangkok, located sixty-one floors above the world. It makes my fingers tingle just thinking about the height. Picture tiered dining areas, glow in the dark menus, and drinks that make you cough just to look at the prices. Music pounding. Neon pink spotlights criss-crossing through the night. A city rendered glorious by distance and sheer expansiveness. 

Panoramic wet-dream. 

This is a place of dream proposals and dresses that cost more than my monthly paycheck. 

     Being here was… one of my least favorite experiences in Bangkok. Keep in mind, my misery had absolutely nothing to do with the beautiful location and everything to do with my own exhaustion and general grumpiness. I had walked all day in the nausea-inducing heat, and had finally made it back to the bed of our hotel room when I was coerced into a nice dress, made to wash off the sweat so I could put on a face, and journey nearly two hours over water to get to an overcrowded and overstimulting night market, where I walked a ton more, then took a no-doubt dangerous hour long tuk-tuk ride to get to this bar (to be fair, the tuk tuk ride was fun, in a terrifying way). Darlings, quite frankly, I was fucking exhausted, the only place I wanted to be face-down on the admittedly hard mattress at the hotel.

     The exact same thing happened in Koh Phangan, when my bestie and I went to the Full Moon Festival. This was honestly the reason why we were on the island. However, I was sunburnt beyond recognition (more on this in a minute), nauseated by the heat (sensing a theme?) and our bucket of vodka and soda did the opposite of make me want to dance in the swirling mass of strangers.

Flaming jump-rope? Cool.

Headache inducing gas fumes from said flames? Not so cool.

Dancing to pounding tunes under a full moon on an island with a thousand other hot young people on an island? A night deservering of dreams.

Aforementioned sweaty bodies pressed against you while you have an anxiety attack? Awful.

Drinks for sale everywhere you turn? Wonderful.

Bathrooms that you pay to use that turn out not to provide toilet paper? Yeah… I’ll skip that.

     No matter where you are in the world, don’t put pressure on yourself to love it. There were so many other parts of my Thailand experience that I loved beyond words. It’s okay if the most photogenic spot is not your favorite, or if the “purpose” for your visit to a particular spot doesn’t pan out. Don’t force your experience in life. Accept the reality of your emotions surrounding places and love where you love.

2.

F---ing wear the f---ing sunblock: I don’t care how cool you think you’ll look with a tan

     By nature, I am a very pale girl. As in, you can see the blue rivers of veins beneath my translucent skin. This paleness has been exaggerated by a lifetime living mostly in Alaska, aka, the land of eternal darkness. Because the grass is always greener, I have serious tan-person envy. The trouble is, I don’t tan; I burn.

     In Bangkok, I survived just fine applying sunscreen once or twice a day... and then we traveled to the gorgeous island of Koh Phangan, the isle of cream colored hammocks on the beach and vodka in plastic buckets. The morning of our arrival, I had applied sunscreen, but then I got carried away by our ferry ride, a sudden torrential outpouring of sky-tears, and checking into our island bungalow. The thought of sunscreen re-application may have crossed my mind, but so did the fantasy of bronzed legs.

     Yes, I consciously made this stupid decision. Needless to say, I didn’t reapply my sunscreen before heading to the beach in a swimming suit, floating cloudless-sky-up in the turquois sea, mind blissfully blank, and lounging under the beating sun, freshly cracked coconut in hand. By the time I felt the first twinge of sunburn, it was far, far, far too late.


Oh, honey.




     The pain that accompanied this caused me to lose several entire nights of sleep and to turn into a cranky, curmudgeon-y jerk. It made it difficult to wear clothes and agonizing to shower (tiny pelting water droplets kept hitting my poor skin). Several days later, my skin was peeling off in swaths, making me look like a literal zombie. I. Am. Not. Fucking. Kidding. Several months later, I still have a ridiculous tan line in the shape of a swimsuit top.

     Wear the damn sunscreen.

3.

No Matter How Much You Love Her, You May Not Always Be Compatible Travel Partners

     I love love love my bestie. She has seen me in some of my happiest moments and many times in states of full blown ugly-sobbing-life-is-terrible-mode. There are many things I would do for her and few that I wouldn’t.

     Despite this, we encountered an unexpected hiccup in our travels together: we are not compatible travelling buddies. She is the kind of traveler who wants to walk and explore for seven hours under the hot sun, see ten sights per day, and still go out to fancy far-away bars post-dinner. I, on the other hand, am more of the “Oooh! There’s a hammock on the porch! Let’s lay in it and read half the day away,” sort. On our trip, we had nearly daily struggles and frustrations. She didn’t want to feel like she was dragging me along, and I didn’t want to feel like I was holding her back from her once-in-a-lifetime trip. This isn’t to say that we didn’t have some truly incredible moments together, but we really struggled to find a good balance between epic adventurous sightseeing and taking a moment to sit back, take a breath, and simply enjoy the view. In the end, neither of us was as happy with the pacing as we could have been.

     Moral of the story: find a travelling buddy who moves at a similar pace as you. It doesn’t mean you love your darling gal any less. Go have an adventure and let her have hers, separately. Then, have a dance party in the living room when you both get back.

4.

We are all earthlings

     I would describe myself as less of an animal lover than an animal admirer. Though I don’t necessarily feel the need to cuddle every dog that I walk by on the street, I have a deep appreciation for our fellow earth dwellers. Looking into the eyes of a forty year old elephant who had spent the majority of her life in the so-called Thai “entertainment” industry, being whipped, cut, and even shot was akin to a spiritual experience. While watching these creatures splash about in joy despite their horrendous previous life experiences, there was a moment when I was abruptly reminded that every being has something to teach us. The elephants we witnessed at the Phuket Elephant Sanctuary were so resilient, a concept that I encountered time and again in my studies of human psychology. Resilience is a character trait that has been emphasized heavily since the introduction of Positive Psychology in the nineties and can best be summed up as one’s 'bounce-back factor.'

     No matter how many times these elephants had been knocked down, how many times their limbs had been broken or their eyes shot out, they persisted.


     They are resilient.

          We can learn from them.

     As someone who believes in animal protection, I would absolutely recommend contributing to the Phuket Elephant Sanctuary or other non-profits whose sole purpose is making the lives of others, regardless of species, more joyful and peaceful. https://www.phuketelephantsanctuary.org

     We are all earthlings.

5.

Speedboats are Magic and so is Laughter

     Before Phuket, I had never ridden on a speedboat. I had been on fishing vessels, rafts, kayaks, and a particularly disconcerting Floridian tour boat for the elderly called “The Jungle Queen,” (story for another day), but if asked to describe a speedboat, I probably would have stumbled through some stilted explanation that involved a lot of hummingbird-nervous-hand-circling and the words “Um… they’re…um…fast…boats?” The statement would most certainly have ended in a question mark. Now, however, I’m a changed woman.

     Speedboats are my jam.

     The two of us had booked a sightseeing trip to the Phi Phi islands (the first laugh of the day: when we realized that these magical islands were pronounced without the “h”). Admittedly, I was more than a little nervous when, instead of staying in the safety of the interior portion of the boat, we made our way to the front. Our Thai guides mentioned (more than once) that we had to be very strong to sit in the front. Picture a tiny Thai man making the universal muscle sign and asking repeatedly, “Are you very strong?” Uh, yes? I think so? They told us that the water was choppy today, so it would be difficult to hold on. Challenge accepted. We wound up in the front of the speedboat with a group of hot Hungarian men, mmmm. That wasn’t even the best part.

     Holy hell. The water. Was. Choppy.

          In a glorious way.

     With each wave that we t-boned, our bodies were sent up into the air, momentarily suspended, the breath ripped from our chests, hands clutching rails, seats, each other in a desperately delirious attempt to remain in the boat. Water sloshed over the prow by the bathtubful, soaking us through; wet hair whipped across our eyes, into our mouths. All the while, we were laughing like I haven’t laughed in ages. It was such a present experience. Holding on for dear life, joy coursing through our veins alongside the adrenaline, we were there and it was marvelous.

I felt full, whole, alive.

     It was all the better with my dear friend beside me, arms linked, shrieks of bliss and smiles as wide as oceans.

     Darling, if you remember one thing, remember this: life is meant to be lived, wholly and completely. It won’t be perfect. There will even be times of misery and conflict. But there will also be those snapshot moments, the ones where you grin and look up at the blue blue sky and down at the blue blue water and feel so very here, so very alive.

Seek them out.

     Oh. And ride in a speedboat.

Love,

          Lola